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Time Off In Lieu

Yesterday was the end of the financial year at work, and I’m pleased to report that I made it in one piece.  When I think of everything that’s happened over the last year, that seems an achievement in itself! I delivered the last remaining milestone reports  on time, then came home with a throbbing headache and collapsed. Today I took off as “time off in lieu” of some the crazy hours I’ve been working recently. I had an enjoyable and useful day off.

In the morning I had a visit from a local joiner, whom I’ve asked to quote for replacing the last remaining window in the cottage which isn’t double glazed. The offending window used to be in a tiny study off the kitchen and opened into a rather decrepit back porch. When we had the extension built, we knocked down the porch and opened the study up into a much more useful utility area. But now the washing machine and tumble drier are directly next to the single-glazed window, and the amount of condensation it gets in the winter has to be seen to be believed. It’s something that Chris and I talked about having done, but it didn’t get far enough up The List before such things were rendered unimportant. Still, it will be good to get it fixed. If the chap comes up with an affordable quote, I’d love to get the window replaced with a double-glazed timber window over the summer, so that I don’t have the same problem next winter.

In the afternoon, I went out for coffee with an ex-colleague of mine who retired a few years ago. I haven’t seen him since Christopher’s funeral, so it was really good to catch up with what he’s up to, and to hear and pass on the latest gossip.  Then I bumped into another old friend and colleague in Waitrose, and we had a good long chat too.

I think a day off has done me good, especially combined with the knowledge that all the milestones have been submitted on time, and that work should therefore be a lot calmer when I go back next Monday.

01 04 2011 Gillian Day out
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No Breakfast

I’m not very good at mornings. In fact, that’s an understatement, as any of my colleagues who have been misguided enough to summon me to an 08:30 meeting can testify! Chris learned the hard way not to even bother speaking to me until I’d had my first cup of tea in the morning, and not to expect any sense out of me until I’d finished my second cup. And I’m finding mornings even harder at the moment as I’m so tired.

So it was with real dismay that I faced the prospect of a fasting blood test at the doctors’ surgery on Monday morning. I was concerned that I’d be so much on autopilot when I woke up, that I’d be half-way through breakfast and on that second cup of tea before I even remembered that I had a doctor’s appointment. So on Sunday evening I went round the house sticking up “NO BREAKFAST” signs in strategic places. I put one on the kitchen door, one on the door of the cupboard where I keep the teabags, and a third on the fridge door. All the signs were all in bold black marker pen, in big enough writing for me to read without my glasses on.

Fortunately, the ruse worked, and I managed to get to the blood test without having broken my fast. But by then I was ravenous, and could only think of finding some breakfast. I thought of Malvern Spa, which is practically next door to the surgery. They are a hotel as well as a spa, so I phoned them and asked if they did breakfasts for non-residents.  They do, but only for Members. That was easy – I’m not a gym or spa member and have no intention of joining. So I took my money elsewhere – their loss.

In the end I went to a “Greasy Spoon” cafe close to work, and had what they called a “Little Person’s Breakfast”.  Since that was two rashers of bacon, sausage, fried egg, two grilled tomatoes and toast – washed down by the now desperately needed two cups of tea – I was glad I hadn’t gone for the full heart-attack-on-a-plate which seemed to be their standard-sized breakfast offering!

29 03 2011 Gillian food Comments (1) Permalink

Resonance across the ages

I was lying in bed the other night, struggling to get to sleep, when out of nowhere a poem popped into my mind. It was one I’d learned off by heart at school by the Ancient Greek poet Callimachus. I wouldn’t want you to think that I habitually spout poetry to myself at night, as I most certainly don’t – and particularly not in a dead language! It was clearly my subconscious trying to get a message across to me. I’ll spare you the original Greek verse. My own very rusty and distinctly free translation of it goes something like this:

Someone told me of your death, Heraclitus. It brought tears to my eyes. I remembered the many times that you and I had sat up talking late into the night. But now you, my dear friend from Halicarnassos, have been a pile of ashes for a long time. And yet your poems live on still. Death, which seizes everything, cannot lay its hands on those.

It struck me quite forcibly that if you changed the names, Heraclitus/ Christopher,  Halicarnassus/ Malvern; and updated “poems” to “blog posts and/or Librivox recordings”, then the same sentiments are as true today as they were over 2000 years ago.  That was an interesting and surprisingly comforting insight to have in the middle of the night.

27 03 2011 Gillian librivox
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Running on empty

A colleague and I spent today in a darkened meeting room, projecting onto the wall the final milestone report for my project, and going through it line-by-line. It was pretty intense, but necessary. I got through the day on a combination of adrenalin, caffeine, paracetamol and sheer bloody-mindedness. Unfortunately, by mid-afternoon all four ran out simultaneously! I came home, had a cup of tea, and collapsed in bed for an hour before dinner.

I had at least anticipated that today would be hard work, so on Tuesday I had cooked a double portion of pork-and-apple casserole. So all I needed to do when I got up again this evening was to shove it in the oven with a jacket potato. Dead easy and very tasty. Thank goodness for foresight.

But this exhaustion is no fun at all. Several people have emailed me in response to my post about being anaemic, basically telling me to stop quacking myself, go to the doctor and get myself sorted out. I agree with you, so I went there on Monday, and asked for a full set of blood tests to be run, to see if there is an underlying issue causing this pervasive fatigue. I don’t believe it’s purely a result of the bereavement / depression, since (on the whole and with lots of caveats) I’m making reasonable progress in that respect. I don’t fancy the thought of the fasting blood test I’ve got booked for next week, as I hate missing breakfast, but needs must……

24 03 2011 Gillian status Comments (1) Permalink

Another day at the pottery

Last time I spent a day at the pottery, two months ago, I was throwing some vases on the potter’s wheel. Spring is coming, and I’d rather like to have some flowers around the house to cheer me up. I was back there again today, working on the next stage. I find it takes at least as much time to finish and decorate the pots as it does to throw them in the first place.

My main job today was to “turn” the vases. That is, to put them back on the wheel upside down and trim the excess clay away from the base using a wire loop to carve away ribbons of partly-dried (leather hard) clay. I also sign and date the pieces at that point. Then it’s a case of decorating them. I’m not particularly artistic, so delicate painting is not my thing. I generally go for bold, solid colours or simple patterns which show off the underlying shape of the pot.

I then leave the finished pots at the pottery to completely dry out before they are fired. You have to be patient at this stage – if you try to hurry the process and the clay isn’t completely dried out, the water will turn to steam in the kiln and the pot will explode!

I hope to be able to collect the fired and glazed vases in about a month.

20 03 2011 Gillian Day out Comments (2) Permalink

It’s good to be home

Since the middle of February, I’ve spent a total of eleven days so far working at a customer site two hours away from home. I’m sick of living out of a suitcase! But I think that’s most of the travelling over now for this month, and it’s really good to be home and sleeping in my own bed again.

I was talking to my boss today about this end-of-year madness, and how to reconcile it with our agreement that I should work part-time. At my grade, I’m not in general eligible for overtime. I’m just expected to do whatever is necessary to get the job done. But he has agreed that if I am having to work in excess of my nominal three-day week to deliver the six reports and three presentations that are contractually due, then I can claim overtime for doing so. We agreed however that this has to be a temporary arrangement, and that I need to return to my 22.5 hour week as soon as possible, and certainly by the end of the month. I’ll be happy with the extra money this month, but much happier to get back to a sustainable work pattern.

17 03 2011 Gillian status Comments (2) Permalink

Should have checked on Google first

Christopher and I really used to enjoy going to Alan Ayckbourn plays. It didn’t really matter whether they were professional productions in Malvern, Worcester, or on occasions London, or am-dram affairs in a village hall somewhere, we would always make an effort to go. Indeed, provided we recalibrated our expectations, the amateur productions (often with a glass of warm white wine thrown in at the interval) were just as enjoyable as the professional ones. You generally know what you’re getting with an Ayckbourn play – black humour, with reliable laughs. Even sub-standard plays by him are fun, and vintage ones are great fun.

So when I saw that Malvern Theatres was showing the very latest Ayckbourn play, Life of Riley, I had no hesitation in buying myself a ticket for yesterday’s matinée. The first 15 minutes were a bit slow, as all the characters were introduced. But then it became clear that the title character, George Riley, had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had just six months to live.  The humour of the play lay in his friends’ reactions to George’s imminent demise, but it was all a bit too close to home  to me for comfort.

I did think about leaving at the interval, but decided that would be cowardly. The second half was funnier than the first, and I did laugh out loud a few times, but I was braced the whole time for more uncomfortable plot twists – including the funeral that formed the final scene. I spent the whole play sitting rigidly bolt-upright and had a stinking migraine by the final curtain.

Next time,  I think I’d better check the plot synopsis on Google first, before buying a ticket!

 

13 03 2011 Gillian cancer
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Anaemia

I went to give blood on Monday, but was turned away because I am anaemic. That’s rather disappointing – I’ve tried so hard since Chris died to improve my cooking and have a balanced and healthy diet. It’s discouraging that my efforts haven’t been enough and I’ll have to start taking supplements.

On the other hand, the anaemia may be the reason behind my endless exhaustion. Apparently, fatigue is one of the main symptoms of iron deficiency. I’ve bought some multi-vitamin and multi-mineral tablets and will start taking those daily. That should fix any dietary deficiency. It will be interesting to see whether my energy levels improve.

09 03 2011 Gillian status Comments (3) Permalink

The King’s Speech

I really wanted to go to see The King’s Speech, and not only because it stars Colin Firth – though that is of course a major attraction 🙂 Malvern Cinema was showing the film a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t able to get to see it at the time. I was too tired after work to go out in the evening during the week, at at the weekend I had things on. I was in fact offered some spare tickets by my neighbour who was unable to go, but had to regretfully decline them, as that was the weekend I had my sister and some friends visiting.

So I was really pleased when I saw that the local cinema had succumbed to public demand, and brought the film back for another week.  Work is mad at the moment, and I know there’s no chance of feeling up to going out during the week, so I treated myself yesterday to a ticket to the Sunday Matinee. It felt very odd going to the cinema without Chris – that was the first time I’d done so since he died. But I was very pleased I’d made the effort as I thoroughly enjoyed the film, and now know what all the fuss is about. I highly recommend it.

07 03 2011 Gillian Day out Comments Off on The King’s Speech Permalink

Latest from the taxman

The saga of Christopher’s tax liabilities continues. I last wrote to HMRC in the middle of January with more information about his estate. Today I got a letter back, saying that they are able to settle the tax liability informally, so I won’t need to fill in a tax return for him – that’s good news. They enclosed a paying-in slip to be used to pay them the amount. But they didn’t actually say how much they want! It seems that the tax calculation itself will come in a separate letter, “shortly” (which I suspect could mean another few weeks at the current rate of progress). It seems crazy to send me two letters when one would do, and in the mean time I need to file the paying-in slip somewhere safe so I don’t lose it. I also notice that the paying-in slip says clearly “HMRC to complete payslip and overleaf for all payments in deceased and estate cases”. That’s clearly the case here, and yet they’ve sent me a completely blank one.

Oh well, I suppose it is at least progress.

04 03 2011 Gillian cancer Comments (1) Permalink