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I am a former research scientist, now temporarily of independent means, fighting oesophageal cancer and learning to support myself without a salary.

Libel reform

In April 2008 Simon Singh published an article in the Guardian in which he explored the use of Chiropractic to treat, amongst other things, childhood asthma. The British Chiropractic Association (BCA) took issue with the article, and refused to be satisfied with an offer to print a counter to it. Instead, citing a “substantial evidence […]

Coming out of purdah

purdah, n, esp. formerly, in Hindu and Muslim communities, the seclusion of women from the sight of strangers. [Chambers] Chemotherapy drugs are very powerful. Not only do they attack the cancer, which is good, but they also attack the entire body, including the immune system. The doctors told us that it’s very important to keep […]

Images of my tumour

When I had my CT scan before Christmas I asked whether it would be possible to have copies of the images. I was very pleased to find that, yes, it was possible, although it might take a couple of weeks to get it onto a CD. The original plan was to hand the CD to […]

On vomiting

I’m becoming concerned that I may have given the misleading impression that dealing with cancer is a bed of roses. While I have been able to find a lot to be positive about, there are some things that are simply unpleasant and have to be borne. Regular vomiting is probably my number one bugbear at […]

On taking a shower

What could be so hard about taking a shower, you ask. Normally I’d agree with you but right now I have a permanent drip feeding into my arm. It is driven by an ambulatory pump, which sits in a small waist pack attached to a belt. The pump feeds into a PICC, which is a […]

Fireplace reflection

Lying on the sofa this morning, I noticed that I could see a reflection of the snowy landscape in the glass of the framed tapestry that stands in our fireplace. I liked the way the window frame made abstract patterns, and the snowy scene outside seemed to be rendered extremely clearly. If you look closely […]

Learned optimism

I was recently asked what I thought of Barbara Ehrenreich’s writing on a positive attitude to cancer. I hadn’t read much of what she has written, but I found a piece on the Guardian that I believe sums up her opinion quite well. In brief, she finds that positive thinking is touted as an unthinking […]

Crisis in the next bed

The day that I started my chemotherapy, it was clear that the person in the next bed, who I’ll call PNB for anonymity, had been having a rough day. He had needed a lot of care, and was clearly in some distress. But towards the evening, things seemed a little more comfortable and by the […]

First chemo

After trials, tribulations, and postponements I finally got my date, and went into hospital on Monday this week, as planned. There was still plenty of snow around, so we decided that it would be safer to get a professional driver to take me. Stuart, the taxi driver, was great. He drove sensibly in the conditions […]

Sparkly!

It started with a very pretty little sparkling firework display while I was trying to get to sleep on Wednesday night after returning from the hospital. This replaced the ever-retreating bands of colour I normally see while I’m falling asleep with something a little more active. The display responded to things I heard, so it […]