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Trying to Ignore Valentine’s Day

When I was a “smug married” (to quote Bridget Jones) we never really bothered with Valentine’s Day. Certainly not to the extent of supporting the totally OTT commercialization that surrounds it – tacky cards, overpriced flowers, and expensive dinners à deux in restaurants full of loved-up couples – all of which we were happy to give a miss.

In fact, now I come to think of it, Chris never once bought me flowers in twenty years. He said that a) I was a feminist and it would be demeaning to buy me flowers (huh? does not compute…..); b) I never bought him any flowers either; and c) if I wanted them that much I could buy them myself!

I can only remember one occasion when we made a special effort for Valentine’s Day, and that was our first one. Chris was living in a tiny one-bedroomed flat with a galley kitchen and only a two-ring Baby Belling to cook on. Somehow he managed to produce from scratch a delicious duck à l’orange, followed by profiteroles with a butterscotch sauce. I remember thinking at the time that if that was what he could knock up with totally inadequate cooking facilities, it would be good to see what he could do with a proper kitchen…….

We had actually planned to make an effort for the first time since then and go away last February. We had booked a holiday cottage in Devon for the weekend – with a hamper of local gourmet food thrown in. Unfortunately, we had to cancel that as that was in the middle of his chemo and he was too unwell either to go, or indeed to enjoy the food if I had got him there.

This year, of course, Valentine’s Day acts as a very pointed reminder that I’m not part of a couple any more. I expect I’m just being over-sensitive to the content matter, but the newspapers, television, shops etc seem extra-full of lovey-dovey couples parading their togetherness. I’m trying to ignore it all, as I really don’t want to have salt rubbed into the still open wound of losing Chris, but it’s not easy. I reckon some (not heart-shaped) chocolate is called for this evening!

{ 2 } Comments

  1. PaulD | 15 February 2011 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

    Oh it was valentines day was it, never mind maybe i’ll remember next year.

  2. russiandoll | 19 February 2011 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    Valentine’s Day has few redeeming features, and the fact that its stupidly overhyped existence causes pain to people in your kind of situation is just another black mark against it, I reckon.
    Hope you found something rewarding to do in escape.
    Philippa