A mammoth undertaking

I wrote earlier about the canonical text on bereavement, and how I thoroughly disagree with the underlying thesis, at least as applied to my own situation. I don’t think that trying to find some Grand Unified Theory of Grief is helpful. I have however come up with an empirical hotch-potch of practical strategies which I find help me cope with the stress I’ve been going through this year, and which could be useful in other contexts too.

• When it all gets too much, shouting or howling at the top of my voice is surprisingly cathartic. It’s a good job this is a detached house, as I used to be a cox and can project my voice a long way if I choose. Any nearer neighbours would have called the police by now……
• Teeth-grinding (bruxism) is a particular problem I have when I’m stressed. Unfortunately, it’s entirely subconscious, and mostly occurs when I’m asleep. If left untreated it leads to stinking headaches and (worst case scenario) fractured teeth. My dentist has sorted me out with a dental splint to wear at night. It doesn’t stop me clenching my jaw tight, but it does distribute the pressure over all my teeth, limiting the damage. And given that I am wearing through the plastic bite-guard, I’d much rather be damaging that than my teeth.
• Regular massages really help relieve the knots and tensions in my back, shoulders and neck. I find it really helpful in reducing the likelihood of a regular tension headache triggering a migraine. I’m trying to have a massage every fortnight, just to keep my back, neck and shoulders moderately supple and relaxed. Otherwise I find that my shoulders are permanently up somewhere around my ears and I get an unshiftable tension headache.
• Accepting that I get very tired with little provocation. If that means coming home from work, having a cup of tea and going straight to bed for an hour or two before dinner, then so be it. Oddly, that mostly seems to happen on a Thursday. (Shades of Arthur Dent in a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? He never could get the hang of Thursdays…)
• And if all else fails…….Chocolate. I keep a large bar of Cadbury’s Whole Nut in the larder, and make sure I never run out!