It was exactly a year ago today that we learned that Christopher had oesophageal cancer, and not acid reflux or a stomach ulcer after all.
I was trying to write my Christmas cards over the weekend, and it made me reflect on all that has happened in the past year: an urgent operation to stent his bile duct, five months of chemotherapy, three bouts of radiotherapy, many urgent dashes to Cheltenham hospital, then the hospice, funeral, probate and dealing with the estate. And all that with me simultaneously trying to do my best to perform a pretty challenging job. It wasn’t all doom and gloom – we did have some good times on the way, most notably a thoroughly enjoyable holiday in Wales. But overall it’s not been a good year by any stretch of the imagination.
Unsurprisingly, I found writing the Christmas cards to be extremely difficult. Even signing them “Gillian” rather than “Gillian and Chris” was very unpleasant. I managed to get through about half my list, then decided I simply couldn’t cope with writing any more. So if you would normally expect to get a Christmas card from us and you don’t this year, I’m sure you’ll understand. I’m not deliberately ignoring you or being unfriendly – it’s just that writing Christmas cards is too difficult at the moment.
I’ve really valued the support that all our friends (both on-line and in the real world) have so generously offered us both over the course of the year. That has been one of the positive things about this year. You probably don’t realise how much you’ve helped us both simply by reading and commenting on this blog, let alone the generous offers we’ve had from those of you who live close enough to offer practical help and support.
So this is wishing you all a very happy Christmas, and let’s hope that 2011 will be an improvement over 2010.
{ 5 } Comments
I… know what you mean. One year ago, my mother was in the hospital with pulmonary fibrosis and I had to go home and take care of my dad. It was stressful in a number of ways, not least of which was that it was the beginning of the end for her. December’s been a surprisingly hard month, with lots of little things bringing me back to that time.
Hugs to you. May 2011 be a better year all around!
Anniversaries are such a mixed blessing. Perhaps we must try to celebrate events from two or more years ago, in amongst much more caustic memories from the last year.
Keep well – we’re always here to share bad times as well as good.
Best wishes,
R&F&M.
We’re all stil here and thinking of you Gillian
We’re still here too – and have been following the blog as much as ever. We can well understand what you mean as both of us have had close family losses which make certain times of the year more difficult than others. We’ve no doubt that, just like us, as time moves on so will you and the memories will become more sweet than sad.
Best wishes for 2011 and remember we’re always here if there is anything we can do to help.
Q and J.
I wanted to drop you a quick blog Gillian to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. You are in my thoughts at this time, which I am sure must be very difficult. I hope you are managing to keep busy and not dwell on the bad memories but cherrish and embrace all the good times you had at Christmas with Chris. If I remember correctly it was your holiday time to some exotic places.
Chris still lives in my thoughts and always will.