A mammoth undertaking

The Consumer’s Association (Which?) publishes a useful book called “What to do when someone dies“.  I’ve had it on my Amazon wish list since January – how sad is that? They update it every year with the latest tax regime etc, so I didn’t want to buy it immediately after Chris was diagnosed, in the hope that he would survive for several more editions. Oh well.

My sister has a friend who was widowed very suddenly a few months before I was. So J. went to her local bookshop to buy a copy of the book for the friend who was in a complete state of shock and didn’t know where to start. The bookseller said that unfortunately, they were out of stock but there was a new edition due out in a few weeks time, and would she care to put in a preorder? J. told him to look at the title of the book, and engage his brain! When you need it to know what to do, you need help straight away and waiting a few weeks isn’t an option…… So she bought it on Amazon after all.

She also bought me a copy at my request when Chris was in the hospice, so that it was waiting for me when I got home. I’ve found it very useful in setting out, in remarkably readable prose, what needs to happen when, and in what order, to get through from planning a funeral, to applying and being granted probate, and distributing the estate. One slight problem is that it tries to cover all possible eventualities, which means it doesn’t go into things in as much depth as one perhaps would like. It does quite often read as though the reader is the executor for the estate of their wealthy great-aunt by marriage, so goes into the whole business of trusts, valuing property, stocks, shares, bonds etc. None of which was relevant for Chris’s very straightforward estate.

Other sources of help were the hospice, which gave me a leaflet on what to do, and (perhaps surprisingly?) most of the banks themselves. Barclays were particularly good – I don’t even bank there, but Chris had his personal current account with them. So I went into the Malvern branch with my box of paperwork to tell them of his death. I’d got to the front of the long queue, and had just started explaining the situation to the clerk behind the counter, when the manager appeared by my side out of thin air (shades of Mr Ben – “as if by magic the shopkeeper appeared” – anyone else remember that or is it just me?) He ushered me into a back office, gave me a coffee (only instant, unfortunately, but we are in a banking crisis…..) and was extremely helpful in telling me about Chris’s accounts and what I needed to do next.

I think I’m getting there now. Thank you to all of you who have contacted me with your experience of getting probate. I think the main thing I’ve picked up from you all is how important it is to be methodical. I’ve got an exercise book in which I have one double-page per company, and I keep notes of who I spoke to, when, what the outcome and actions are. It’s a bit like keeping a logbook at work, which I’ve done for years, so it was more or less second nature. I’ve also got a big box-file into which I’ve shoved absolutely all the paperwork, so I always know where it is. I’ve obtained Grant of Probate now, so I should be on the last lap. I hope that soon I’ll be able to put the useful book away in the bookcase, and not leave it out for ready reference.